Have you ever felt like things are really hectic, but then you stop, take a breath and think for just a minute, and it really isn't all that hectic, after all? That is kind of how I feel right at the moment - at one moment it feels like everything is hectic and then the next moment I realized it isn't hectic, its just kind of active at the moment but not really hectic in general. Interesting and a bit amusing, as well as a bit of a situation that puts me into a conflicted position with my host and hostess, who are both being cute and goofy and they ended up putting me in the middle of a silly conflict and it made me feel a little conflicted. Despite the realization it's silly, I have Asperger's and take things rather literally and I feel a bit conflicted by what just happened, but not in a bad way, just amused and vaguely hopeful that tonight will include a flogging of some kind, though I highly doubt that, in spite of that I would really enjoy a second session with Sir Sam. He's very gentle and progressive about it, taking his time and learning how to play with me so that he doesn't do anything I do not like while having his fun, making certain he uses Master's toy correctly and plays with me in the way that I'm intended to be played with. Apparently I helped with something without even having realized that I had been helping... makes me feel good to know that I am capable of being helpful without them having to put undue pressure on me to do so. I'm just helpful by nature, apparently?
I like that. It makes me feel good to be helpful. They're all so big... and it's so nice to know that a little girl like myself can still be helpful to the adults, and useful, and even fun to play with in some ways which don't really harm me, really. I'm a little with mental disorders, I'm accustomed to the experiencing of some confusion... which is kind of the sensation I'm feeling right now. A little bit confused as to how I managed to be helpful without knowing that I was being helpful until after I'd been helpful. Oh, well.
Far more importantly, Master took me to the birthday party of a very good friend who lives nearby, and we stayed for a little while (about 90 to 100 minutes or thereabouts) during which I was naked for the vast majority of it. It was fun, her awesome husband actually gave me a present (three four-sided dice in crystal blue since I saw them in his box of dice and had a gasp-me-loves! response to the crystal blue ones so he gave me three of the kind of dice that my own set doesn't include, I having lost the single four-sided die that I'd ever had like twenty years ago or something like that).
After that, though, things took a turn for the worse!
"That's a total dramatization, of course, but you get my point." ~ Geico Gecko
Once we left, Master and three of our friends went to a karaoke bar ... at which I was determined I would not sing because I am deathly afraid of microphones when I am holding them in my hand in an expectation of doing any kind of singing. It didn't help that I had to ask the guy to start over nor did it help that my voice is so atrociously soft when I try to feminize it that even with one, you can seriously not even hear me because I just do not have the ability to raise my voice as a girl, I want to get a surgery which would allow me to do that, but I'm not sure if I should. Master says that I've got the perfect gender-neutral voice, and I want Her to enjoy Her slave's voice, because She's got to live with it every bit as much as I do. My real problem with my voice is that I can be loudly and extremely masculine if I want to, but I can't be feminine at a high volume, it just cannot work, that is the main reason I did not want to go up and sing.
By the end of the night and after two and a half shots of Soju and three White Russians, a drunk woman who is actually an employee of the karaoke bar kind of pressured me into doing it, which was kind of the plan of both of Master's friends who were still there at the time wanting me to be their "virgin sacrifice" to the gods of karaoke.
I freaked out in the short waiting period before doing it.
I huddled in the corner feeling terrified while actually doing the singing.
I hurried back to my seat as soon as the nightmare was over with.
I trembled for about ten minutes thereafter.
The fact that both of them and my beloved Daddy all said they were proud of me and were very supportive and comforting helped a lot, but it was still the scariest four minutes of my life and I genuinely wished I was back in Dover County instead of being up there singing even though the only people there were Master, our two friends, and a few drunk employees of the karaoke bar.
The drinks were good and so was the food, the company was amazing and the karaoke was a fun experience to watch but horrible and terrifying to perform firsthand. I don't ever want to sing ever again. It was awful being up there doing the singing. The only time I ever want to sing ever again is in the car with the beautiful and cherished Master Who Owns me, and only when only Her and I are actually in the car at all.
Overall, it was a great night and a good experience with only that one blemish at the end of it. I had honestly planned to hide in my room all day and not come out for any reason, but in being a good friend to a fellow slave and pet, I had to come out of my room and received a few really kind words from my host here at Random House and some rather shockingly supportive words from my roommate.
It was worthwhile to do the karaoke thing since it made Master happy and allowed Her another opportunity to be proud of me. I liked the way it made me feel when She said She was proud of me for facing one of my fears in the full knowledge of how scared I was... Eric was really rather incredibly supportive about the whole thing, too... he's honestly been very nice to me and I am honoured by how gentle he is towards me. Courtney was amazingly supportive, too, but Master is the one that really made it worthwhile.
I did not have fun while I was singing, but the entire remainder of the evening was a pleasurable experience even without having been flogged or beaten in any way despite that I really wanted to be flogged last night at some point.
Oh, well.
I felt flattered and amused when both Courtney and Ben asked Master if they could borrow me for a night when I gave them a little bit of a back massage each at my friend's birthday party. I felt a bit more amused when Master's response was just to give a slight shake of Her head and be like... No. I hated seeing them disappointed, but I was still amused when Master said they couldn't borrow me for one day or night.
Obviously, I would not mind if Master allowed them to borrow me for a day, maybe with a nice "terms of service" agreement, but Master knows what's best for me and I totally trust Her, and Her judgment. She's the best and most beautiful Person I've ever met and the biggest blessing that I've ever received. Her Word is Law, and it is my pride and my pleasure to obey Her Rules. I've never felt so safe or happy in my life. I would rather die than disappoint Master in any way.
I Love You Master, with all of my heart, with all that I am, with every fiber of my being. There is no part of me that does not love every part of You, Beautiful Beloved Master.
I Trust You Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
I have absolute Faith in You Master, I wish nothing but to serve You for all of my lives.
I have no Desire to go to Heaven without You, for without You, it would not be Heaven.
- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Eternally Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Phee
I like that. It makes me feel good to be helpful. They're all so big... and it's so nice to know that a little girl like myself can still be helpful to the adults, and useful, and even fun to play with in some ways which don't really harm me, really. I'm a little with mental disorders, I'm accustomed to the experiencing of some confusion... which is kind of the sensation I'm feeling right now. A little bit confused as to how I managed to be helpful without knowing that I was being helpful until after I'd been helpful. Oh, well.
Far more importantly, Master took me to the birthday party of a very good friend who lives nearby, and we stayed for a little while (about 90 to 100 minutes or thereabouts) during which I was naked for the vast majority of it. It was fun, her awesome husband actually gave me a present (three four-sided dice in crystal blue since I saw them in his box of dice and had a gasp-me-loves! response to the crystal blue ones so he gave me three of the kind of dice that my own set doesn't include, I having lost the single four-sided die that I'd ever had like twenty years ago or something like that).
After that, though, things took a turn for the worse!
"That's a total dramatization, of course, but you get my point." ~ Geico Gecko
Once we left, Master and three of our friends went to a karaoke bar ... at which I was determined I would not sing because I am deathly afraid of microphones when I am holding them in my hand in an expectation of doing any kind of singing. It didn't help that I had to ask the guy to start over nor did it help that my voice is so atrociously soft when I try to feminize it that even with one, you can seriously not even hear me because I just do not have the ability to raise my voice as a girl, I want to get a surgery which would allow me to do that, but I'm not sure if I should. Master says that I've got the perfect gender-neutral voice, and I want Her to enjoy Her slave's voice, because She's got to live with it every bit as much as I do. My real problem with my voice is that I can be loudly and extremely masculine if I want to, but I can't be feminine at a high volume, it just cannot work, that is the main reason I did not want to go up and sing.
By the end of the night and after two and a half shots of Soju and three White Russians, a drunk woman who is actually an employee of the karaoke bar kind of pressured me into doing it, which was kind of the plan of both of Master's friends who were still there at the time wanting me to be their "virgin sacrifice" to the gods of karaoke.
I freaked out in the short waiting period before doing it.
I huddled in the corner feeling terrified while actually doing the singing.
I hurried back to my seat as soon as the nightmare was over with.
I trembled for about ten minutes thereafter.
The fact that both of them and my beloved Daddy all said they were proud of me and were very supportive and comforting helped a lot, but it was still the scariest four minutes of my life and I genuinely wished I was back in Dover County instead of being up there singing even though the only people there were Master, our two friends, and a few drunk employees of the karaoke bar.
The drinks were good and so was the food, the company was amazing and the karaoke was a fun experience to watch but horrible and terrifying to perform firsthand. I don't ever want to sing ever again. It was awful being up there doing the singing. The only time I ever want to sing ever again is in the car with the beautiful and cherished Master Who Owns me, and only when only Her and I are actually in the car at all.
Overall, it was a great night and a good experience with only that one blemish at the end of it. I had honestly planned to hide in my room all day and not come out for any reason, but in being a good friend to a fellow slave and pet, I had to come out of my room and received a few really kind words from my host here at Random House and some rather shockingly supportive words from my roommate.
It was worthwhile to do the karaoke thing since it made Master happy and allowed Her another opportunity to be proud of me. I liked the way it made me feel when She said She was proud of me for facing one of my fears in the full knowledge of how scared I was... Eric was really rather incredibly supportive about the whole thing, too... he's honestly been very nice to me and I am honoured by how gentle he is towards me. Courtney was amazingly supportive, too, but Master is the one that really made it worthwhile.
I did not have fun while I was singing, but the entire remainder of the evening was a pleasurable experience even without having been flogged or beaten in any way despite that I really wanted to be flogged last night at some point.
Oh, well.
I felt flattered and amused when both Courtney and Ben asked Master if they could borrow me for a night when I gave them a little bit of a back massage each at my friend's birthday party. I felt a bit more amused when Master's response was just to give a slight shake of Her head and be like... No. I hated seeing them disappointed, but I was still amused when Master said they couldn't borrow me for one day or night.
Obviously, I would not mind if Master allowed them to borrow me for a day, maybe with a nice "terms of service" agreement, but Master knows what's best for me and I totally trust Her, and Her judgment. She's the best and most beautiful Person I've ever met and the biggest blessing that I've ever received. Her Word is Law, and it is my pride and my pleasure to obey Her Rules. I've never felt so safe or happy in my life. I would rather die than disappoint Master in any way.
I Love You Master, with all of my heart, with all that I am, with every fiber of my being. There is no part of me that does not love every part of You, Beautiful Beloved Master.
I Trust You Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
I have absolute Faith in You Master, I wish nothing but to serve You for all of my lives.
I have no Desire to go to Heaven without You, for without You, it would not be Heaven.
- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Eternally Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Phee
No comments:
Post a Comment