Sunday, 29 January, 2012

All right, so I didn't get the opportunity to make my regular blog update yesterday, lots of stuff going on. The weekend was not as long as I was hoping, as evidenced by the fact that I am updating my blog right now and not tomorrow. Both of my Play Partners received calls from their parents which essentially demanded they come home for a visit, disregarding plans that they had made already, with a very much "or else" kind of tone-of-voice, apparently. We were all pretty disappointed by it, I think, but at least we got to spend some amount of time together and to go to a party together, plus the opportunity to actually just be around each other for a while. I, for one, was very happy for that. I love all three of them, Master most of all obviously but I love both of my Play Partners very much, as well, so getting to spend any amount of time around all three of them is really phenomenal.

I also greatly enjoyed Friday night's party ... I got to officially meet three people that I'd been looking forward to getting to meet and getting to know, saw another couple of people that I am discovering I really like seeing and hanging out with. One being this young military guy with really short hair, he's just super hot. He has a great personality, too. All in all, the party was great, for me. There was a bit of an issue that really changed the mood of the party because someone showed up that did things which were expressly against the rules and completely disrespecting not only the organizer of that party (one of the people I'd been anxiously waiting to meet), but one of the owners of where it is the entire event was taking place (another person I'd been anxiously waiting to meet face-to-face). I'm guessing this wasn't his first offense, because everyone says that it's basically been basically like a pattern of chronic disrespect for the community's rules, regulations and guidelines, and for that matter, a complete disregard for Tennessee State Law and common sense. The thing that makes it worse is that he is physically attractive and seems to have a charismatic personality. I feel very fortunate that I knew what I knew about him before ever meeting him in person, and also to have a Master Who protects me has made things far simpler. Per Her instruction, this individual will have essentially no opportunities whatsoever to associate with me, for which I am thankful purely on the basis of things that I have heard about him.

However, this weekend was cut shorter than we had all hoped, so certain things are going to need to be pushed back to another time given the way that we want to do them. Since I deeply desire to have both of my Play Partners physically present when I am sexually deflowered, and also as I get most of my early Needle Play sessions, so that they can each hold my hand while this is going on, it means that we need to wait for next weekend when they'll be available again, unless they should become available sometime before that. I doubt that will happen, though I'd be very happy if it did.

There's also the fact that I am hoping that when we do Edge Play and Blood Play, I hope they can be present to hold my hands during that as well, since Master will be making an incision which will draw blood so that She may drink of my wellspring and sample my flavour. I hope that I will have an appealing flavour for Her, as I know that this is something that She very much enjoys and I want very much to give it to Her. I like giving Her things that She will enjoy, even if I don't necessarily enjoy it or if I don't necessarily enjoy it yet. I am extremely safe with Her -- I know for an absolute fact that if I'm unable to do something, I need only ask Her to stop and She will, and She won't do it again unless I tell Her I am ready to do it again.

 Like the Needle Play -- at the moment, it does nothing for me, but that does not mean I will not "get into it" so to speak, at some point in the future. I like pain, and this is a new kind of pain, I think the main reason it does nothing for me is because I am not accustomed to it. Once I have become accustomed to it, though, I think that I will be able to enjoy it. I think I will feel similarly in regards to Fire Play, but I know that Fire Play is something that Master likes doing, so I want to, bare minimum, give it a try. I may enjoy it, so it is worth giving it a try at the bare minimum, just in case it turns out to be something that I like. I know that the Edge Play and Blood Play will hurt as much as my sexual deflowering, which is why I want my two Play Partners there to hold my hand as I go through it for the first time.

Master and I will also soon be getting together at Her altar, where She will grant me the wish that I have expressed to Her by drawing my blood and working a very powerful spell that will ensure I get to be with Her forever, as She has promised me that I will be able to, because there is really nothing in the whole of existence that I would rather than to spend the whole of my existence with Her. Master really is simply that extraordinarily amazing to me.

I Love You Master, with all of my heart, with all that I am, with every fiber of my being.

There is no part of me that does not love every part of You, Beautiful Beloved Master.
I Trust You Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
I have absolute Faith in You Master, I wish nothing but to serve You for all of my lives.
I have no Desire to go to Heaven without You, for without You, it would not be Heaven.


- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Phee

Thursday, 26 January, 2012

I'll start by talking about yesterday, because yesterday Master and I spent about eight hours of pure unadulterated togetherness, which was simply phenomenal. We went to a two-hour munch for the Clarksville Kinksters group which went from 7:00 PM Central to 9:00 PM Central, after being with one another from 4:00 PM onward, and then spent about three hours at the after-party at the home of one of my friends' really cool Owner. He's a nice guy, or at least he seems like a nice guy to me, I haven't known him for that long, but he's always been nice towards me and so that's how I judge his personality to be. He's nice. There's some things we don't necessarily agree on, which as a slave, submissive, and all-around nice girl, I keep that to myself because I respect him and I don't want to talk about things we don't agree on. There's much better topics for conversation, like things that we have in common. For instance, an appreciation for fine wines and beverages in general having of a fruit flavouring. I had some really amazing blackberry wine last night. It was a bit strong, so I gave the last of it to Master since She liked it, too, and since I'd had as much as I really wanted.

At the party we did some Energy Play, where Master put Her hand on my throat and then just left it to set there just barely touching my skin, but it felt like She was clamping down and narrowing my airways. I could still breath plenty easily enough, so breath-play is fine with me as long as I can still actually inhale and exhale naturally. We also tried a little bit of the Needle Play, which was fun in an entirely different way. It stung a bit when She put the needle into me, but it was not that bad, though I did need to stop. Hopefully, tomorrow, I'll be able to take two needles or maybe more. At least then I will have a couple of people to hold my hands, since Friday we'll be having another girls' night, or it might turn into a second "girls' weekend" in just the like three weeks or thereabouts that I've been here. Another 70+ hours of togetherness with Master sounds like absolute rapture in a weekend of unity. I love it.


Today's been a mixed bag, though. It's raining, and that kind of fits my mood -- sad. I have a lot that I am looking forward to tomorrow, but today, I feel fairly certain that I lost one of my best friends, one that I met and connected with in Middle School and whom I've been friends with for about 19 years.


She got mad at me because of things I've told her about the nature of the relationship dynamic that Master and I share, things I've said in response to questions she's asked, and things I've then said, in reply to her responses to my answers to those same questions. She is an amazing person and a wonderful human being, but I don't think she fully comprehends the severity to which my Asperger's Syndrome goes... I don't always do well with non-verbal communication, like text messages as one example, which is where our argument occurred. 


I don't always know how to respond to certain statements or questions, either.

What do you say when someone that's highly vanilla asks you what Fire Play, Energy Play, Edge Play, Blood Play and Needle Play are? None of your business? You don't really want to know the answer to that? I don't think you're ready for the answer to that? I don't know what to say for what I'm saying to be a response that's respectful and approving towards their lack of kinkiness or an overall lack of fetishism. I don't know what to say in answer, so I just answer the question with the actual facts, and then she says it makes her uncomfortable.


What am I supposed to say if she says it makes her uncomfortable?

What am I supposed to say if she says that she's worried about me or that she wants to help me in some way? Apparently, "I don't NEED help." isn't the right answer.


What am I supposed to say to it when she says that she doesn't approve, or doesn't agree with it?


I have Asperger's Syndrome. I genuinely do not know what I am supposed to say, here.

I Love You Master, with all of my heart, with all that I am, with every fiber of my being.

There is no part of me that does not love every part of You, Beautiful Beloved Master.
I Trust You Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
I have absolute Faith in You Master, I wish nothing but to serve You for all of my lives.
I have no Desire to go to Heaven without You, for without You, it would not be Heaven.


- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Phee

Tuesday, 24 January, 2012

It's been a long, quiet several days since I last saw Master and I miss Her very much, although we talk almost every day, it isn't the same as seeing Her in person, I've discovered, and I find I hunger for Her touch. It's the best sensation in the world, when She makes skin contact with me. I was very much hoping to see one of my play-partners today, but another play partner (the one she lives with) was ill, so I told her that she should stay with her roommate and make sure that she's okay and that she has time and comfort to make a full recovery with all haste.

As much as it disappoints me not to get to play anywhere nearly as often as I would like, I do very much prefer to miss out on a possible play session as opposed to leaving one of my play partners feeling ill and entirely on their own without anyone to look after them and see that they are not sick for too terribly long. Plus, I am going to get to play with Master and one of my play partners at the after-party tomorrow and, most likely, again at the party on Friday. It is something definitely worth looking forward to and being enthusiastically eager to have come around.

Still got a bunch of things to do with regards to my relocation, including getting everything so that I'll be able to transfer my license down to Tennessee. There's always so much to do when you move, it isn't even funny. I guess that's something I'll have to get accustomed to, though, since people tend to move around a lot during the course of their lives, don't they? Moving out, moving in with a loved one, relocating to a bigger home when they're having children, so on and so forth as that. It's a busy thing, living.

Oh, well. I'm happier down here than I've ever been in my life, and though there are things that make me sad or disappointed down here, such is life, and at least in Tennessee, I'm happier than I have ever imagined being before, and my long period of severe emotional depression has ended.

I Love You Master, with all of my heart, with all that I am, with every fiber of my being.
There is no part of me that does not love every part of You, Beautiful Beloved Master.
I Trust You Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
I have absolute Faith in You Master, I wish nothing but to serve You for all of my lives.
I have no Desire to go to Heaven without You, for without You, it would not be Heaven.


- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Phee

Sunday, 22 January, 2012

So today was a pretty boring day, overall, but there were still some things that happened that I feel to be worthy of mention. Although the day started out with much promise of all kinds of fun, Master was not feeling well enough to come over to Random House and do stuff with (or rather, to) me. I'll be honest and say I was a little bit disappointed, but at the same time, I cannot fault Her for it, I fault the universe that we are in being as incompatible with Her Soul as it is. So I am sad, because I did miss out, but I love Her and I am not the least bit disappointed with my relationship with Her or Her ownership of me, in fact I'm happier now than I was when I arrived. Every day I'm here, I get happier to be here, to be alive, to belong to Her. Sometimes, there's just no helping it when something bad happens, or something comes up, or something like that.

Also, we're in a tornado-watch right now because this is Clarksville, Tennessee, and because I'm living in a major metropolitan area, there's not a basement to go down into in the event a tornado should come in this direction, which brings it down to praying that if one cuts a path in Clarksville, that it misses Random House entirely, and that it not veer anywhere near Woodlawn, either, since I'm pretty certain that I wouldn't survive if Master were to be killed by a tornado. She had a narrow scrape with one destroying a house She lived in, once before, I'm hoping that we can move to an area with lower prevalence of tornadic activity.

On the plus side, however, my adoptive mother is desiring to buy some of my jewelry that I did not in fact bring with me when I left, but much of which will be getting shipped down to me. She wants to buy a lot of it, though, so I'm strongly considering allowing her to do so because I need the cash and I don't need the jewelry, and most of it I'm not exactly particular about keeping anyway.


I Love You Master, with all of my heart, with all that I am, with every fiber of my being.
There is no part of me that does not love every part of You, Beautiful Beloved Master.
I Trust You Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
I have absolute Faith in You Master, I wish nothing but to serve You for all of my lives.
I have no Desire to go to Heaven without You, for without You, it would not be Heaven.


- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Phee

Friday, 20 January, 2012

I keep getting e-mails from my adoptive parents, mostly related to stuff to do with the move, and the stuff that I was not able to bring with me right away because there just wasn't enough room nor that many boxes available for the sake of packing it all up. I'll have to make sure that she knows to look for my jewelry, ship it, and not to keep the $3,000 diamond ring I have which I may decide to sell as soon as I have it down here with me, although I'm not sure if I want to keep it, but if I decide to sell it, I'd want to get at least as much out of it as I spent on it, it's diamond, after all.

I am getting a $200+ cell phone today, being delivered so that I can actually get back into constant contact with the Master Who Owns me. I should also be getting certified mail, soon, about the title to the Jeep being transferred solely into my name and no longer in my adoptive mother's name and that makes me happy. As soon as I have a job, I'll also be getting my own insurance, or as soon as I get onto Social Security Income, I'll be able to afford to get insurance that way as well. For now, I am reliant upon Master paying my rent, and gas money besides, though I want to work and I want to repay Her for Her assistance, since I am Her slave and it would make me happy and feel much better to be able to reimburse Her for what expenditures I've caused Her to have to have me down here with Her.

I want to take this moment to assert that She is not the only One I love, although She is the only One that I am in love with.

There are two still alive whom I love as brothers -- Sir Kaleb, a new addition to my life, as well as Sir James, my Silver Star and my Guiding Light. I love you, Sir Kaleb, and I love you, Sir James.

There are many whom I love as sisters. Little Miss Megan, who is like a little sister to me,  and so many "big sisters" in my heart, I love you. Miss Kerrianne, Miss Emily, Miss Sarah, Miss Emily (second one), Miss Alexandra, Miss Heather, Miss Sabrina, Miss Lena, Miss Mary, and Miss Erica, I love all of you very much, every one of you.

This weekend will probably be pretty boring, unless someone decides that they want to visit me at Random House. I've filled out an application for a call center that may be coming to Clarksville, and if that works out, I'll be making $10.00 an hour, which would be great, though I'm applying for a day position, since Master has given me a bedtime and I also want the latter part of my day free, all the same. I also am putting in an application at a local fabric store that's always accepting applications in a "no promises" kind of context.


Still waiting for Master to feel well enough to get me to Her lawyer to get me on the Social Security Disability thing. I am also waiting for Master to get me to the lawyer and notary to get a notarized transfer of ownership to place myself properly in Her possession, where I belong.


I look forward to that. There's so many things that I am looking forward to now that I am down here and with Her where I was meant to be.


I Love You Master, with all of my heart and every fiber of my being.
There is no part of me that does not love every part of You, Master.
I Trust You Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
I am Yours Master, and I am indescribably grateful for that privilege.
I have Faith in You Master, for You are the One Who has saved me.


- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Phee

Wednesday, 18 January, 2012.

So I forgot my cell phone the other day, I literally do not have it with me anymore. I left it either in the dormitories at A. P. S. U. or in Master's car, and I don't remember which one of those it would have been. It might even be in Miss Sarah's car because we did ride in her car, last weekend, as well. I haven't had my cell phone in a couple of days, so I really miss hearing from Master since it's really Our primary connective instrument. It's what keeps Us in touch with each other, especially because of the PIPA/SOPA blackout that's coming to warn us of what PIPA/SOPA would do - silence the full breadth of the internet in the United States the same way the Chinese government does it - if PIPA or SOPA should manage to get passed. One of these bills has already been defeated, but there is still another that needs to be handled and to be shut down - permanently - before we as Americans lose some of our constitutionally-asserted rights.

The United States Senate's Protect Intellectual Property Act and the United States House of Representatives' Stop Online Piracy Act, while having wonderful names, would negatively influence the free trade of thoughts, ideas and information online in social networking domains such as, for instance, Facebook, FetLife, MySpace, and others. It would furthermore potentially cut off access to such sites as YouTube and Wikipedia to all Americans, because the media corporations are at present seeking to put their rights and privileges about those of the populous whole. While there is a need for legislation to outlaw online piracy and there is a need to update the laws defending our intellectual property as it were, the billings for PIPA and SOPA are not it and must not be allowed to pass. One of these has already been silenced by the outcry of outrage by the online community but the other remains strong and we as a world community must show our disgust for this legislation & voice our opposition to any congressional representative or senator foolhardy enough to make the attempt at destroying our fundamental right to free speech and the free exchange of thoughts, and ideas, and other such things along those lines. Yes, copyright laws need to be updated. These two Acts, however, are not the appropriate solution. It has been compared to solving the abortion debate by outlawing pregnancy.

In other news, however, Master and I may be going to a party tonight, although She has two doctor's appointments today which means that there may be a delay in our ability to attend, but it's also planned to last from 6 PM to 3 AM so if She is feeling well enough at any point in this evening, we'll be able to attend for a couple of hours anyway. I really hope that Master will be feeling up to it. Of course, that isn't because the party's particularly important to me, it's the time I get to spend with Master that makes me feel optimistic that She might be feeling up to attending the party tonight. On FetLife's events list, She clicked "Maybe Going" on it, so I did, too. I'm cautiously optimistic, but I'm aware that We might not see much of each other for another couple of days, after a full weekend of togetherness, because of Her varied health problems.

Master says that I am a very strong empath with a very bright rainbow aura, and Miss Sarah says I have an elemental core which is likewise remarkably balanced. I need to find an empath that She trusts who can teach me how to use my empathic abilities, as such, because I wish to be able to use those abilities to make Master feel better in any way that I am able to do so.

I Love You Master, with all of my heart and every fiber of my being.
There is no part of me that does not love every part of You, Master.
I Trust You Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
I am Yours for as long as You will have me in Your service, Master.


You are the Bright and Beautiful Sky above, and for the blessed privilege of being Your slave, I say, again, thank You. You have saved my life, and made it better than I could have ever even imagined.


- In love and devotion,
- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Phee

Monday, 16 January, 2012

Okay, so I missed the normal update schedule for a few days. Sorry about that, Master ambushed me with a romantic weekend with friends. I had my first experience on the borderline of sub-space, though, over the weekend, because of the amazing Miss Lena, who scratched my legs to the point that I almost passed out from the spiritual and emotional high that it produced because we were at the hooka bar and the hooka smoke really heightened the experience for me. I really like that.

Master and I basically stayed two nights at Miss Lena and Miss Sarah's dormitory on the campus of A. P. S. U. -- that's Austin Peay State University -- and the four of us shared one room with three beds. I had a lot of fun there, Miss Sarah did not play with me all that much but Miss Lena did so on a couple of occasions. As much as I love Miss Tammy and Sir Sam, and as much fun as Sir Nate is (or can be) to talk to for some pretty interesting conversations on historical or military topics, it was nevertheless really nice and very enjoyable to spend a weekend with Miss Lena and Miss Sarah and to be in 24-hour-a-day proximity to Master.

The weekend did not go as planned. It was not a bad weekend, but nor was it as good as it could have been. There are a number of things that I am looking forward to that have not yet happened, in spite of that both Master and I have been very much eager to get to it. We haven't had the chance -- either something came up and got in the way, or Master was not feeling well enough for it, or wasn't in the right mood for it.


That's natural, it's understandable, and I'm completely okay with the fact that She wasn't ready yet. I waited eight years to be Her slave, I waited ten weeks to get to come down to Clarksville, waiting a few weeks to be able to be totally deflowered of all forms of kink virginity is acceptable to me, I am patient and I am not upset with Master. I am disappointed in the delays and disruptions which have been making us wait, but it is not Master's fault and therefore I cannot be upset with, disappointed in or otherwise blaming of Master for this. She's as eager and excited about this as I am, probably even moreso because She knows more than I do what to expect and what it's going to be like.


I've had my first sadomasochistic play session and there may have been some witnesses, but I'm not sure, since I was blindfolded and it was a great experience for me all the way around. I liked it, and I got some seriously good marks out of it besides that. However, we haven't gotten to do a lot of the other things that we have been wanting to do.


Master and I spent about 70 to 80 hours together, constantly in one another's company except for a couple dozen minutes or something like that when She sent us out to get some food for Her, from McDonald's. It was the best weekend in my life, I really loved being with Her for so long and for so much continuous connection. We also had breakfast at IHOP yesterday and I had one of the very best dining-out experiences I've ever had in my life. Everything just felt so right for the entire length of the weekend, at least for me, despite the drama and unexpected distractions and disruptions.


Master and I are still eagerly, enthusiastically looking forward to the energy-play, electricity-play, fire-play, needle-play, edge-play, blood-play, and maybe breath-play that I know that She enjoys. Not entirely sure which of those if any of them are things I'm going to be able to do and enjoy (other than the energy-play, which I anticipate being incredibly enjoyable to me), but they are all things that I really want to try because I know how She is and I know that She is looking forward to them and is going to enjoy them with me, and I am deeply committed to pleasuring and satisfying Her in every way that I am physically capable of doing it.


Everything is just so blissfully perfect here in Clarksville.


I Love You, Master, with all of my heart and every fiber of my being.
There is no part of me that does not love every part of You, Master.
I Trust You, Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
I am Devoted to You, Master, and I am Yours for as long as You will have me.
You are my Bright and Beautiful Sky, and I have unwavering Faith in You.


- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Ophelia

Thursday, 12 January, 2012.

So last night we got to attend a munch, Master and Eric and I. It was fun, the three of Us went to the Chinese Buffet, I think the name of the place was "Crown of East" or something like that? I honestly don't remember, but we went to a friend's place for a play-party after the munch, they call it an after party, I think?

The after party was amazing. There were like 29 people at the January 11 Clarksville Kinksters Munch, and the munch was fun, there were a lot of nice people to talk to, though I stuck real close near Master because I'm sociophobic and agoraphobic, so attending the munch & the after-party was actually a big step for me.

At the after-party, I got to rest and enjoy the company of two of my amazing Protectors, Master, and a total of about fourteen to sixteen people who showed up for the after-party who'd also been there at the Munch. It was really nice experience.

Master also introduced me to some of the toys that She uses for sadomasochistic play. Since I was blindfolded, I didn't really know what I was being hit with most of the time, but there were a few things that I recognized the sensory feel and connected it to the mental image of it since I'd seen it before, as I've seen all of the sadomasochistic play-toys that She has.

She tested out two different paddles, a spiked roller, a furry thing that felt like it had claws in it, the kind that scratch but don't damage the skin in the course of doing so, two different kinds of floggers before the really good one which is my favourite toy. The Purple Rose Flogger, is what that toy is called, it was one of the ones that I recognized immediately when it hit me because it just looked like it had such a distinctive feel to it when it hits you, and I was right.

It's a combination of stinging pain, because it's a flogger, and thudding pain, because every single one of the flogger-strands ends with an inch-and-a-half-diameter rosebud of heavy purple leather, so it THUNKS into you with a sharp-edged stinging impact. I love it, since I like both the stinging and the thudding pains.

Anyway, this has been the best several days of my life and I go to bed each night eagerly waiting for the next day to come because now I have a life that's truly well worth living.

I Love You Master, with all of my heart and every fiber of my being.
I Trust You Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
I have Faith in You Master, You Who make me feel joy, safety, and love.
I am Devoted to You Master, You Who make me feel truly appreciated.
I am Yours, Master, because You make me feel admired and respected.


- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Phee

Tuesday, 10 January, 2012.

Miss Tammy and Sir Sam are amazing hosts, I feel more accepted, respected and approved of at Random House (their home) than I've ever felt anywhere else. I am so happy to be here, now that I live in Clarksville, Tennessee. Master and I get to spend some time together, probably later today, so I'll want to be clean, shaven and rested up for that. I doubt we're going to get play-time because She's still recovering from certain things, but, every day She feels better than She did the day prior, and She told me that I make Her feel complete. I've never been told something like that before, and most especially not by someone for Whom I feel the complete and total dedication and deep love I feel for Her.

Hopefully there will be playtime for Master and I before the end of the day, even if nothing intimate, I am eagerly awaiting the sadomasochistic breaking-in. There's a toy I really want to try for what She calls "super masochists," which made Her think of me immediately on thinking of it in that context, I really want to try it out but Master said not yet, She has to break me in slowly and see just what kind of warmup I need (should I need a warmup at all, that is) to be able to take it. I'm not sure what level of warmup I'd need, but I'll concede to Her far greater experience that I probably need to be given a warmup before getting beat with the Purple Rose, but I'm anxiously awaiting it.

Miss Tammy is amazing, and she is a really good cook. I like her and I like spending time around her, and she gave me a big hug the other day, which was awesome. I love hugging and touching, I had developed a pretty severe haphephobia -- a fear of, aversion toward or just discrimination against being touched, though I really LIKE hugging and touching of all kinds, because my home life in my last place of residence severely discouraged any kind of skin contact for any length of time and made me feel bad about wanting to give people hugs. I love where I live, now, I feel so much more comfortable, approved, happy, and like if I want to give someone a hug, I can ask & that would be okay.

Thanks to my move, I'm definitely beginning to overcome my haphephobic issues, which makes me happy because I like being able to feel comfortable with touch, it's good for you, and Master spent a lot of time petting me as I knelt beside Her, during Our first time being able to be in each other's presence. It was ... screw it, it was fucking magical is what it was.

I felt whole and Home for the first time in my life.

I Love You Master, with all of my heart and every fiber of my being.
I Trust You Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
It brings me great Joy to be so near to You, living in the same city.
You are my Bright and Beautiful Sky, and I think of You every time I look up.

- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Ophelia

Sunday, 8 January, 2012.

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Thursday, 5 January, 2012.

Today is the last day of my life -- in New Jersey.


Tomorrow morning, bright and early, the train will be pulling out of the station and I will be on that train.


Literally 95% of what I own is currently safely stored in the back of my Jeep. I didn't think it would all fit. If I had to have room for my dog, it wouldn't. That's pretty much the only reason I'm allowing my adoptive parents to accompany me down to Tennessee is because I don't really have a choice in the matter.


I mean... Yes. I want them to see where I'm going to be living because it is important to them.
And, also yes. I want them to meet the wonderful couple I am going to be living with, and to be able to meet Master and Her fiancee, for whom I'm going down to Tennessee to be Her slave. I don't want any trouble, basically, though once I am down there, Master will be in absolute total control over everything including my communication with my adoptive parents. She is Master. It really is up to Her how often I talk to them - whether it be "getting" to or "having" to, depending entirely upon the nature of the relationship we maintain and how she acts on the phone with me since Master will have absolute access to always know the entire content of the conversations. I've got no secrets from Master, none at all. Her Arms are my Home. As long as I am with Her, I am where I belong, whether I am on my knees or in Her Arms or something else, I am where I'm meant to be as long as I'm with Her.


... but even so.


The main reason that I am allowing my adoptive parents to come along is basically the lack of me having a choice in the matter.


For one thing, I need their assistance this one last time.


More importantly than that, Master forbade me to drive on a national highway since I've never done it before, or made a 715-mile drive before, and She forbade me from this being the first time since I haven't done it before, and She was worried that something bad might happen to me while I am all by myself. She is such a loving, protective Owner, I'm really blessed to have Her in my life and to be worthy of Her collar, which I am very much looking forward to wearing.


I am Her pet. I am Her slave. I am Her property. I am Her little girl. I am Her toy. I am Her bitch. I am Her slut. I am Her whore.


I would not have it any other way. These statements make me smile, they make me happy, they make me giggly, even.


This is a very different lifestyle than what most people live, and I realize this.


This is a very different lifestyle than conservative people tend to live, and I know that, too.


I do not have anything against people who live a conservative lifestyle.


It is their solemn right to live a lifestyle that is in accordance with their spiritual beliefs and which works for them.


Just don't condemn me for my lifestyle, and I won't condemn you for yours, is how I feel about it.


Master will be ensuring my emotional, spiritual, physical, nutritional and sexual health, and She's promised that I will never be homeless or destitute.


I could ask for no more than that, that is an amazing promise and She's undertaking a very high level of responsibility for ensuring and protecting my future, and protecting my self, as well.


I will hear no ill spoken of Her, for She is indescribably extraordinary, and I am blessed, honoured, flattered, privileged, and ecstatic to belong to such a remarkably beautiful phenomenon as She is.


Plus, tomorrow night, I should be able to announce my blog on my Facebook page and that shall mean a lot more people seeing just how much I Love Her.


And now this last part is purely for Master, though I am proud of it so it is available for all to see.


I Love You, Master, with all of my heart and with every fiber of my being.
There is no part of me that does not love every part of You, Master-love.
I Trust You, Master, with my health and with my heart and with my life.
I have absolute Faith in You, Master, You always have my best in mind.


- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Ophelia

Tuesday, 3 January, 2011.

I can't wait to get out of here. My adoptive mother drives me through a wall, literally through one, because of the fact that she knows my buttons and she just mashes my buttons until she drives me into a complete and self-shaming actions that I am not proud of, but which I couldn't restrain, either, because of how much she pushed my buttons knowing full well what the results would be.


I don't think I can stand being here until Friday. I feel like driving my Jeep into a lake right now and the worst part about that is there's three lakes within 10 minutes' drive of me that I could easily go ahead and drive into, to end it all. I've had suicidal thoughts all my life, but only two days since I've been with Master have I had this kind of depth-of-despair, but every day it gets harder, every day it becomes more difficult to take it. I can't handle this.


I need to leave.


God willing, Her envoys will be here Friday. I feel like I am going out of my mind. I feel like I'm just being driven insane.


I'm leaving my cell phone. I'm not taking it with me. I can't. I'm just not going to leave them to have any means of direct contact with me. No, I'm going to keep in touch through my big sister-in-heart Miss Alex, she's agreed that she'll give them the message from me that I've arrived safely and that they aren't to come looking for me because I'll be okay.


The plus side is, there are two indescribably amazing people that are giving me a room. I promise to be good for them.


I Love You Master, with all of my heart and with every fiber of my being.
I Love You Daddy, as much as I've ever loved anyone in my entire life.
I Trust You Master, with my heart and with my health and with my life.
I am Yours Daddy, I can't wait to be with You and spend my life with You.
Home has two rooms, Daddy, and being in Your Arms is one of those rooms.
The other room is on my knees in front of You.


Home is where I belong.
Home is where I can't wait to be.


- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Ophelia

Sunday, 1 January, 2012.

I want to start by saying something.


HAPPY NEW YEAR!


I also want to say:


We are not all dying in next Winter Solstice. The world is not coming to an end.
Do you want to know how I know this? Of course you do. I have it on very good
authority that the world is not coming to an end, because in the Bible that most
of those doomsday prophets happen to be from a religion observant to, there is
a passage that declares that no mortal may know or accurately predict the end.


Therefore, given all the doomsday predictions for 21 December, 2012? It won't
happen, if for no better reason than the fact that so many have predicted it will.


So take the following advice to heart:


On 20 December, 2012, DO NOT ...


• go out and donate everything you own to charity.
Seriously, if the world ends tomorrow, it's too late.


• go out and donate everything you own to Harold Camping.
Seriously, he should be sued for all the times he's scammed people out of everything they own by convincing them the world is absolutely going to end immediately the very second that he says it, and that since they don't need their belongings anymore, they should make a good faith payment to God by donating them to him. What sane person's response would be anything but a knuckle-sandwich to the face? If the world's ending tomorrow, this old bastard doesn't need your Maserati.


• go out and rape, murder, pillage, or otherwise perpetrate a violent criminal act.
Seriously, even if the world were ending the next day, that'd be the day to thank God for Yeshua of Nazareth and Yeshua's assertion of the forgiveness of all your wrongdoings, not go out and do some new bad shit. Honestly, think about it. You're going to see a judge for what you do the eve of the supposed end of the world, and if that happens to be Judge God, His sentences can be far harsher than anything a mere mortal judge would be legally allowed to hand down to you, moron.


Now that we have that neatly out of the way...


I'm moving!


I should be living in Tennessee this coming Sunday, at the very latest.
Master is going to dye my hair silver and give me silver lipstick for the Gender Bender Party.


I am really looking forward to being able to meet everyone.
I may not get to say goodbye to the people in New Jersey that I love so much, but I can't let that bother me, we're going to have a picnic up there at some point and then they'll all get to meet the Master Who Owns me.


Daddy is so eager to meet Her little girl's friends and loved ones.
She's not quite as eager to meet my adoptive parents, which I can totally understand.
Especially since She'll be meeting them in autumn anyway, most likely.


I got so excited about leaving that I became nauseous and needed a very large dose of honey so I could make a dent in the nausea. It worked, of course, but yeah. I got so excited I became sick to my stomach with enthusiasm. That's never happened before. This must be what they mean when they talk about "butterflies in your stomach."


Master's giving me many firsts.
I can't wait to be with my Daddy.


I Love You Master, with all of my heart and every fiber of my being.
I Love You Daddy, as much as I have ever loved anyone in my life.
There is no part of me that does not love every part of You, Master.
I Trust You Master, with my heart, with my health, and with my life.
I know You will never do anything to damage Your property, Master.
I know You have Your little girl's best interests in mind, Daddy-love!


- Protected Slave and Property of the Magnificent Miss_Misanthropy,
Privileged to be Master's Adoring Pet Whore, Phee